3 HARD TRUTHS ABOUT ‘MOVING ON AND LETTING GO’ (after a break-up)

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1. WAG MO PILITIN. ANG SUGAT HINDI KAAGAD GUMAGALING.

Una sa lahat Kapatid, wag mo pilitin mag-move on. It won’t happen instantly. A wound takes time to heal ika nga.

Just let it out. Umiyak ka hanggang gusto mo. Magwala ka hanggang gusto mo. Just let your anger and frustrations out. Normal yan sa umpisa. Do it just to let yourself flush the heat. But don’t do it to hurt yourself even more. Naturally, people take refuge at anger just to let the pain go. Pero after mo magalit di ba nahihimasmasan ka din?

Pero after mo magalit, face the fact. Wag ka na magmukmok. Self-pity no more. Harapin mo na yung challenge. Don’t resist it. Because the more you resist it, all the more that the pain will insist. Just recognize na nandyan yan lang sya. Nandyan yang pain maybe in a few days, months, and maybe even years. Depende sa iyo kung gaano sya tatagal sa iyo. Pero wag mo pilitin sarili mo na mag-move on. Believe me, it will pass in due time. Ang lahat ng sugat gumagaling.

The scar will remain. I know. Pero what do you do with your scar anyway? Di ba nandyan lang naman sya pero di na masakit? And everytime na makikita mo yung scar di ba it reminds you of how wonderful you are kasi naghilom yung sugat mo na yun. In the same way, break-ups make us wonderful. Kasi natututo tayo. Mas nagiging matured tayo. And mas nagiging tao tayo. How? Read on.

2. YOU DIDNT REALLY MOVE ON KUNG HINDI MO PA SYA NAPAPATAWAD NG LUBUSAN

Moving-on and letting-go requires forgiveness. Oo, kailangan mo patawarin, intindihin, at irespeto ang taong nanakit sayo bago mo masabi sa sarili mo na naka-move on ka na ng tototo. Unless di mo pa nagagawa yun, kahit sabihin mo pa na naka-move on ka na, niloloko mo lang sarili mo. Kaya mahirap gawin ito kasi mahirap minsan magpatawad lalo kung you felt betrayed. Ibinigay mo lahat pero ang isinukli sayo eh kabiguan.

But let me remind you, forgetting is not forgiveness. Baka sabihin mo, kakalimutan mo na lang sya para maka-move on ka. In the short term, this may work, but the pain will come back to you anytime.

True forgiveness is like what Jesus Christ did with our sins. Pinatawad nya tayo upang magkaroon tayo ng chance to repent and learn from our mistakes, with no conditions attached. Ganun din dapat tayo. Ganun din dapat gawin natin sa mga taong nagkasala sa atin. Totoong nakapagpatawad tayo kung bibigyan natin ng chance yung nagkasala sa atin na magbago, matututo, at magkaroon ng reconciliation with us.

So paano mo masasabing napatawad mo na nga yung taong nakapanakit sayo?

3. BE HAPPY FOR THE ONE WHO HURTED YOU

O di ba ang saklap? Ikaw na nga itong nasaktan, kailangan mo pang maging masaya para sa kanya. Pero kapatid, meron bang totoong nagpatawad na hindi naging masaya para sa pinatawad nya? Nagpatawad ka bang masasabi kung gusto mo din syang magdusa? Mali! Ang totoong pagpapatawad eh yung after ka masaktan ng isang tao, hindi ka na magtatanim ng sama ng loob. Instead, magiging masaya ka para sa kanya.

Pero paano mo masasabing masaya ka na para sa kanya? Sagot: pag wala ka ng nararamdaman na bitterness. Kahit kaunti. Instead, masaya ka para sa kanya. Masaya kang nakikita na nag-fo-flourish or umuunlad yung buhay nya or masaya sya sa buhay nya.

Aside from that, masaya ka na rin para sa sarili mo dahil natutunan mong maging tao, mas naging matatag ka, open-minded, discerning, at totoong nagmamahal. You’ll realize that in loving truly, kasama yung forgiveness. In loving truly, we want other people to grow and be happy, even if it means growing and being happy not with us but with other people.

P.S.: The secret to knowing you really have moved on, especially when you are in a new relationship, is when you are truly happy with your new partner. You feel confident that you are now a brand new person, open-minded, more discerning, and forgiving. The past is just a page and your present makes the whole story of your life. You feel thankful because may mga taong dumating sa buhay mo at natuto ka sa kanila. Most importantly, you feel grateful kasi ibinigay sa iyo ng Diyos yung taong karapat dapat sa iyo, hindi upang masaktan ka ulit, kundi para magkaroon ka ng buhay na masaya, hopeful at fulfilling.

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WATCH: Mga Sundalo sa Marawi nag-Baby Shark Challenge

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Viral ngayon sa Youtube itong video ng mga sundalo na nagdiriwang sa kalayaan ng Marawi City mula sa mga terorista.

“Malaya na ang Marawi”, ito ang opisyal na dineklara ni Pangulong Duterte ngayong araw. Kaya naman, ang mga kasundaluhan natin ay nagdiriwang. Hindi napigilan ng tatlong sundalong ito ang mapasayaw sa tagumpay na nakamit nila to the tune of Baby Shark!

Sec. Piñol: Sinadya ni Duterte na i-extend ang Transport Strike, Kaya Wala Pa Rin Pasok

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Usap-usapan ngayon sa socialmedia ang post na ito ni Agriculture Secretary Manny Piñol ukol sa totoong dahilan kung bakit daw wala pa ring pasok hanggang ngayon, October 17.

Kahapon, October 16, wala ring pasok dahil sa transport strike na isinagawa ng mga tsuper at jeepney operators. Idineklara ng Malacanang na #WalangPasok ang October 16 at 17 upang hindi daw maabala ang mga estudyante, manggagawa, pribado man o publiko, at lahat ng taong apektado ng isinasagawang rally.

Sabi ni Secretary Piñol, sinadya daw talaga ni Pangulong Duterte na i-extend ang permit ng mga nagra-rally, kahit pa daw isang linggo o isang buwan magra-rally ang mga ito. Okay lang daw ito sa Pangulo. Ugali daw talaga nya ito kahit noong mayor pa sya ng Davao City.

When he was Mayor of Davao City, transport group leaders asked Rody Duterte for a permit to hold a one-day transport strike. To the surprise of the transport group leaders, Duterte issued them a week-long permit and even gave them sacks of rice to feed the strikers.

When he related the story to me, I asked him why he did it and his reply was very simple.

“I have always respected people’s right to air their grievance against government. I will allow them to walk until they are tired and shout until their voices are hoarse,” he said.

Humanga si Sec Manny sa galing ng estratehiyang ito ng Pangulo. Tinawag pa nya itong brilliant strategist, sapagkat alam daw nyang gamitin ang lakas ng kalaban para sila ay papanghinain.

Beyond that statement, however, I saw the gambit of a brilliant strategist, one who uses the strength of his opponents to weaken them. Classic Duterte but sadly, not many people know this facet of his political persona.

Today, as the national transport strike of jeepney groups enters a second day, President Duterte has again announced that there will be no work in government offices and no classes in all levels.

There was never any attempt on the part of the President to negotiate with the transport groups to stop their strike. There are no policemen controlling their activities.

By ordering that there will be no work in government offices and no classes in all levels, President Duterte deprives the rallyists their main weapon in pressuring government which is discomfort and inconvenience to commuters. Classic example of using the enemy’s strength to overpower him.

Sa kalaunan, nagtanong si Secratary Manny kung sino daw ba ang talo – ang Pangulo ba, ang mga estudyanted, mga manggagawa, o ang mga jeepney drivers at operators din? May napala daw ba sila o mas lalo lang silang nalugi?

Umaasa ang kalihim na sana maunawaan ng mga raliyista na ang layunin nilang paralisahin ang Metro Manila ay hindi naging matagumpay.

At the end of the day today, I am sure the leaders of the transport groups will ask themselves: What have we achieved? How much did we lose in daily earnings? Then, they will realise that their attempt to paralyse Metro Manila by staging a transport strike has actually exploded in their faces.

I guess people now know who paid a dear price for a tactical mistake.

The moral lesson: Don’t engage Duterte unless you truly know him.

********

Narito ang kabuuan ng post na ito ni Sec. Manny.

My Boss was Rushed to the Hospital

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This is not about my Boss. Neither it is about why she was rushed to the hospital. This is about what I said to her. 

She was rushed to the hospital two days ago. She was in pain. Actually, she’s in pain for quite some time now. She’s becoming weaker and weaker everytime. I am sure what happened to her saddened everyone in the office. Everyone knows her condition. 

She’s a good boss. Workaholic at that. I heard she’s still getting in touch with my superiors coordinating important matters while she’s in the hospital. 

I was busy doing my errands when they brought her to the hospital. It wasn’t that I was insensitive that time or that I care less that I was not able to know what is happening or what had caused her emergency. Just that things had happened very fast. 

It was lunch time when I got the chance to send her a text message:

“Hello po, Boss. I hope ok na po kayo. Pagaling po kayo mabuti.” (“Hello, Boss. I hope you are ok. Get well soon.”)

I wasn’t expecting that she’ll reply because I know she cant because of her condition. I understand. But she replied despite:

“Thanks, John. Please pray for my healing. God bless.”

I knew immediately what I had to say, wholeheartedly:

“My prayers are with you po, Boss. God Bless po.” (My prayers are always with you, Boss. God bless you.)

After that, I haven’t heard anything about her. I was in Tagaytay for a week for an official business so I dont know what’s happening in the office, nor about her condition. 

It was Tuesday, three days ago, when I got a message from her:

“John, I will be discharged na. Thanks for your prayers 🙏😊”

I felt so much joy while reading her message, not only because she’s already well, but also because God, indeed, do listen to the prayers of His children. 

“Yeeeeey! So happy to know that, Boss. God is really good. Take care po.”, I texted her..

Although I have not received a reply after that, I knew she’s well and God is with her. 

It is not about what I said to her that is important. What is important is our belief in the power of prayer. What I said is nothing compared to what God can do when we pray to Him.  

Prayers bring joy. Prayers bring hope. Prayers heal. Prayer gives us peace of mind. Prayers bring us closer to God. Prayer is so powerful that even the most impossible thing becomes possible. 

The Bible says,  

Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. (James 5:13 , NIV)

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. (1 John 5:14, NIV)

And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him. (1 John 5:15, NIV)

1st Law of Power: Never Outshine the Master

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Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please and impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity. Make your master appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power. 

The reason for this law is simple: All masters want to appear more brilliant than other people. They do not care anything more than their name and glory. Instead of insecurity, you must give them glory. Do not challenge their intellectual authority, instead make them feel superior. Do not outshine them, make them outshine all others. 

Key to this power:
Everyone has insecurities. When you show yourself in the world and display your talents, you naturally stir up all kinds of resentment, envy, and other manifestations of insecurity. This is to be expected. You cannot spend your life worrying about the petty feelings of others. With those above you, however, you must take a different approach: When it comes to power, outshining the master is perhaps the worst mistake of all. 

Masters want to feel secure in their positions, and superior to those around them in intelligence, wit, and charm. It is a deadly but common misperception to believe that by displaying and vaunting your gifts and talents, you are winning the master’s affection. He may feign appreciation, but at his first opportunity he will replace you with someone less intelligent, less attractive, and less threatening. The master will not admit the truth, but will find an excuse to rid himself of your presence. 

There are masters who are more insecure than others, monstrously insecure. Should you inadvertently outshine them by your charm and grace, or just by being simply yourself, this lesson should be put in mind: If you cannot help being charming and superior, you must learn how to avoid such monsters of vanity. Find a way to mute your good qualities when in the company of these kind of masters. 

Also, never imagine that because the master loves you, you can do anything you want. Entire books could be written about favorites who fell out of favor by taking their status for granted, for daring to outshine. Do not be somebody who had no sense of limits. Presuming that you are in the same rights and position as those of the highest nobility, do not forget that your position depend on your master. Do not come to believe that you earned your position on your own. Remember the following: Never take your position for granted and never let any favors you receive go to your head. 

Applying this power:
If you are more intelligent than your master, make him appear more intelligent than you. Act naive. Make it seem that you need his expertise. Commit harmless mistakes that will not hurt you in the long run but will give you the chance to ask for his help. Masters adore requests. A master who cannot bestow on you the gifts of his experience may direct rancor and ill will at you instead. 

It is not weakness to disguise your strengths if in the end they lead to power. By letting others outshine you, you remain in control, instead of being a victim of their insecurity. If you can make your master shine even more in the eyes of others, then you are a godsend and you will be instantly promoted. 

This power is a lesson that the stars in the sky teach us – they may be related to the sun, and just as brilliant, but they never appear in her company. 

If today your master is still firm in his position, yet you know yourself to be the more capable, bide your time and be patient. It is the natural course of things that power eventually fades and weakens. Your master will fall someday, and if you play it right, you will outlive and someday outshine him. 

Excerpts from: The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene (2000).